Author of ‘In Search of You’
Born in Dublin, Patsy Freeman moved to England when she was eleven. She initially trained as a state registered nurse. She also holds a degree in psychology and an advanced certificate in counselling (with NLP & hypnotherapy). After working for a number of years in preventive health as a health visitor, she joined a GP practice in a trial to assess the benefits of counselling. More recently she explored shamanic studies, which culminated in a visit to an indigenous tribe in Ecuador. Patsy lives in Gloucestershire, and since the death of her daughter in 2013, gives talks on the healing power of grief. Her book In Search of You is available now.
In 2013 my youngest daughter, Jasmine, died of breast cancer. She was 39. I was heart-broken and grief-stricken. Putting pen to paper and writing to her, helped me feel closer to her, so I kept doing it. It also kept the grief moving through me as I struggled to make sense of events that led up to her death.
Four months after her death I felt her presence around me. I was certain it was her. This was the first of a number of visits. Sometimes a painting of hers dropped off the wall, a heavy brass lamp hanging from the ceiling began swaying, and on a number of occasions she made a table lamp flicker for several seconds. The telepathy between us grew and at one point I heard her say, ‘Write a book Mum about what you are experiencing. It will help others. And I will help you.’ So of course I did, or rather we did!
Grieving is a distinctly lonely business in our culture. Silence, stoicism and pressing on with life seem to be the order of the day. Our ways have been handed down to us by past generations, so together we can change all this. I sense we are beginning to find more honest and open ways of both expressing grief and consoling those who are bereaved.
‘In Search of You’ will be of particular interest to parents whose child has died, and I hope it will provide comfort and reassurance to all those who are experiencing grief. The feelings and emotions of deep grief are often intense; they may include despair, anger, sorrow, a dose of guilt, anger and not wanting to live. All this is quite normal. Good support is really helpful, as grief calls for a feeling response, rather than the logical approach of the mind.
‘In Search of You’ is my story, and whilst it will be different to yours, we are all in this together. I hope it will enable readers throughout the world to feel okay about their topsy turvy feelings and emotions surrounding grief. Grieving can often be a roller-coaster of a ride than continues far longer than the decreed one year.
May we come to restore grief as an important and necessary part of being human, both for our emotional mental and physical well-being, as well as for lifting the loneliness that prevails in so many of our communities when grief is present.
It need not be this way.